how beautiful to see
a good death.
I love fall. I love how the energy moves inward at this time of year. The fiery energy of the summer months dissipates and makes way for a more gentle and nurturing time. A time when our vital force pulls in and feels more discerning. A time when I feel more comfortable being who I am. Quiet. Internal. Taking things slow.
I wasn't always like this. I remember a time of great extroversion. The summer season of my life when I had a lot of friends who I saw often. When I went on adventures regularly, seeking out new experiences and basking in the ability to be all out there in life. That person that I was feels like me too but it's not who I am right now.
Right now I relish in a cloudy day, gentle and forgiving. I love when the rains pour down, heavy and constant, reminding me of its essential nature, to nourish and to flow. To help things grow. I love walking along the water's edge and feeling a gentle crisp breeze. My eyes wake up and I feel good. I pull my wool sweater in tight so that it hugs my body and I feel even better.
Just like those leaves falling from trees, in this season of life I feel all the things that are no longer needed falling away from me too. I feel more comfortable letting things go. The ebb and the flow. Old things leaving me so that new things can come.
It's clarifying. To see what remains. To see what sticks. Surprise sometimes, it's not what I imagined. And yet it always makes sense. If not now then eventually.
I'm ok with this moment. I'm ok if it changes. I'm ok with not knowing how things will go. I'm ok with things picking up when they do. I'm ok with not knowing what to do. I'm ok with knowing what to do and I'm ok with waiting for the right time to proceed. Right now, I'm ok.
we're in the season
may all that is
no longer needed
in the season of death & rebirth
a few years ago
on Sinixt Territory