I thought I was in control
there is no control
control is an illusion
granted occasionally momentarily
feels like stability
"as long as this is stable,
I will be ok"
knees tremble knowing, not knowing
the earth below is about to
crumble
down
down
away from these feet, my feet
wanting to know where the next steps
will go
how will I know where to go?
what if I can't find my way?
what does everyone else know
that I don't know?
why can't I go forward?
why am I falling backward...
sideways... upside-down
my head hurts now
from thinking too much
planning too much
what's my back-up plan?
my back-up plan more formed than
my front-up plan
where do I go now?
heart first, head second
heart first, head second
no thoughts, let myself fall
fall
fall
let myself fall
for something new
something unfamiliar
something unplanned
(I planned to meet the one
and that plan didn't work out so great)
heart first, head second
heart first, head second
my heart still healing from the one I
thought would be my one and only
heart first, head second
feelings first, head second
what does my heart need
from me now?
love and compassion love and compassion
heart fell for someone new
and exciting
he speaks five languages
he calls me N’dianamö
excited not listening, excited not listening
heart first
red flags not listening
red flags not listening
my open heart wraps you up wraps me
up my open heart wraps you up
everything will be ok
no wait -- I just got played
No way! I just got played??
lucky it's a funny story
otherwise it would just be sad
heart first, head second
it's gonna be ok
my heart still open
my head still ok
heart first, head second
I love you I love you I love you
(I love me)
thank you for showing me
how much I love me
heart first, head second
it's gonna be ok
g&g's backyard
on unceded SÉ™lÌ“ÃlwÉ™taÊ”/Selilwitulh Territory
dec 25, 2021